CHARACTER?

This is Why Our Family Ski Trips Are The Best

[via text] uncle: Estimated time of arrival?

me: 9:00ish, but we have to pick up Mary from the airport.

uncle: Tell us when you're leaving the airport. We'll try to sober up.

me: Will do. You'll probably need the time.

uncle: Did you end up bringing a friend?

me: We're leaving the airport. And no I have no friends.

uncle: sadness permeates my being